kitchen table


the perfect crime
August 17, 2006, 6:22 pm
Filed under: Darn Kids, friends, funny fun fun


Not exactly criminal: My brother & his friends rolling another kid around in a trash can.

When I was younger, I used to fantasize about all the cool things I could do if I was only willing to be bad. Spray-painting the sides of parked cars–in the middle of the night, of course–and slashing tires seemed totally fun as well as the kind of crimes no one could catch me doing. Sitting in the back seat of my parents’ car, I’d gaze mournfully at all the clean, shiny cars lining the streets–untouched! If I could just get past the stupid dichotomy of right and wrong, I’d be rolling in fun and easy criminal activity!

My friend reminded me of these fantasies today when he admitted, without any provocation, that somtimes he wants to dump a gallon of black paint into a post-box. He said it would be even better if his enemy had just dropped off a bunch of letters in said mailbox!

I related to him my own fantasies of stupid–or as he put it, “Fuck You”–crimes which only encouraged him to open up even more. He also thinks it would be the ultimate to sit on a bridge and throw eggs on passing cars. Ha!

What I think is actually the most fun is not the doing of such immoral activities–frankly, we’re too wussy–but rather the detailed descriptions of how such crimes would be executed. Any fantasies of your own?

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3 Comments so far
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Hah! I always wanted to be brave enough to at least TP someone’s house on Halloween–it was that time of year, everyone did it!–but I just couldn’t. I’d get prematurely guilty about the fact that people would have to spend the next day taaaking it alll down and how would I feel if it was me blah blah blah, which also kept and still keeps me away from the lure of pretty cars!

That picture rules.

Comment by Courtney

yeah, my friend Jack is pretty adamant about his hatred for people who egg or TP houses. he grew up a child of a high school teacher and had to clean up the messes when folks decided to go after his parents. yikes.

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