kitchen table


friends who menstruate
August 9, 2006, 9:22 am
Filed under: Buffalo, Feminism, friends, Gender, the Farm


Lauren & Sara, mural on Massachusetts Ave

Since moving back to Buffalo, in mid-March, I’ve acquired quite the collection of guy friends. Previously, the close, male friends in my life were more often than not ex-boyfriends or former lovers but now I’ve got a lot of men in my life with whom I’ve never been sexual or romantic. It’s good–not that it was bad before–and a change that I appreciate.

However, I’ve been craving women.

My college had a 3:1 ratio of women over men. Factor in my English major and women studies’ minor, and I easily had classes that were entirely female or contained less than four men. Since I graduated, the adjustment to a more normal ratio of the sexes has been slow; the adjustment to the ratio in the political business has been difficult. Where are the ladies? Why am I one of three in a room of 15 people? In work, in play, I’m missing the space created by women in a room together.

This weekend my dear friend Lauren, whom I met on the farm, visited Buffalo with her girlfriend, Sara. We ate food, drank beer, sang songs, talked politics, and laughed loud enough to welcome stares. It was wonderful. I talked with them over our diner breakfast about my lack of women-friends in Buffalo, about the general transition from the college bubble to a world where folks have a different education than me, and the significance of it all. They told me about another friend of theirs, one they were visiting after me, who said she was excited for their visit because she needed to be around people who menstruate.

I totally understand.

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